Offer an Alternative or go to Bed Hungry?

Should you offer an alternative or send your child to bed hungry?

We've all been there - served up a tasty, balanced meal with enthusiasm only for them to refuse every crumb. 

Once we've taken a deep breath and accepted that nothing is going to pass their lips what do we do?

Serve up another meal, something fail-safe that you know they'll eat, or stand firm with what's been offered and move on?

The answer is the latter. 

Why? 

Offering a 'rescue meal' (an alternative food item - often a favourite or preferred food given when the original food is rejected) may encourage your child to refuse the original meal because they know there’s something else coming! Children who are used to having rescue meals will often hold out to see what is offered next. 

‘But I can't possibly send them to bed hungry!’ I hear you exclaim. 

I really do hear you and I know this feels hard. What I want you to remember is that you are always in charge of the menu. So, to avoid a situation where your child is faced with a plateful of new foods and won't want to eat a single thing, make sure you always include a familiar or accepted food alongside new/challenging foods. 

Follow the 'you provide, they decide' approach. This principle reminds us that our role is to choose the foods but the child's role is to decide how much (if any) they want to eat. By always including a familiar food your child can choose to have several helpings of their familiar food until they feel satisfied and we can feel reassured that at least they've eaten 

something. It might not be the balanced meal we'd hoped they would enjoy but we can take care of the balance tomorrow (if we need to) without giving in to a 'rescue meal'. 

Having a well-structured meal and snack time routine can also ease some of the pressure to offer a rescue meal. When we remind ourselves that children have regular opportunities for food across the day, we can feel reassured that they will have another opportunity for food soon and can make up for any missed energy then. 

If you would like to understand how to handle your child's demands for rescue meals please drop message me or use the link in my bio to book a FREE call